Aren't We All A Little Bit Autistic?

You seem pretty normal. Aren't we all just a little bit autistic? What is normal? Labels go on soup cans.

You may have heard some of these before. If you have an autistic friend, you've probably even said them. In all likelihood, you meant to be inclusive and open-minded. After all, your friend isn't that different from you. Right? It doesn't make sense to slap a different label on them.

While this mindset doesn't go entirely unappreciated, many of us in the Autistic community feel that it's dismissive of the different challenges we face on a daily basis. Even those of us who might appear on the outside to be mostly normal have worked hard to be able to function in a neuronormal world.

For many of us, the difficulties are primarily centered around communication and social norms. These are things that do not come naturally to us. That's not to say we can't learn those skills. It just takes conscious effort for us.

The truth is that we autistic people are very well aware of our differences. Most of us have come to terms with them, and are not ashamed of them. Most of us have no problem with others acknowledging that those differences exist. In short, there would be no word to describe the differences if the differences weren't there.

What about severely autistic people? Surely it's a compliment to say those of us at the Asperger's end of the spectrum aren't like them?

In a word, no. Don't forget that we have the same diagnosis as them, usually for many of the same traits. To compliment someone by saying they aren't like severely autistic people is to say that it's more preferable to be 'normal.' Such statements can make us uncomfortable sharing more about ourselves too.

And let's not forget the people we're making the comparison to. Let's imagine for a moment if someone were to say that at least their friend isn't like you. My guess is that you would find that insulting. It should always be assumed that severely autistic people have feelings and know what's being said about them.

There does appear to be one time when no one seems to want to include themselves on the autism spectrum. That would be immediately following a mass shooting, such as the recent tragedy in Roseburg, Oregon.

Thankfully, the news media has made a decision to not mention autism in a story without some degree of relevance. When autism is mentioned without an explanation of relevance, most people will determine the relevance on their own, even when there is none. For example, speculating if a mass shooter is autistic may lead people to believe that autism caused the shooter's actions.

Unfortunately, most pundits and bloggers don't hold themselves to the same standard. In an attempt to understand what led a person to kill several people, some will attempt to diagnose the shooter. Not only is this impossible to do simply from a news story and some vague descriptions from friends and family of the shooter, but it's also highly irresponsible.

Making unprofessional autism diagnoses for mass shooters in an attempt to understand their actions has in the past caused autistic people to be afraid to go to work or school out of fear for how they might be treated. It has also spawned organizations, such as Families Against Autistic Shooters. The world this creates, even though it's temporary, only adds to the difficulties of living with autism, while doing nothing to promote understanding.

In summary, we in the Autistic community have no problem with society recognizing differences between us and those surrounding us. The differences are very real. The problem only comes when those differences are used to explain unrelated behaviors.

Ignoring or fearing difference only drives people further apart. In order to fully integrate the human family, differences need to be understood and celebrated. This is the part where I call for autistic people to be proud of yourselves and educate those around you, as well as for non-autistic people to talk to and learn from your autistic friends and family members. After all, we might have differences, but we're all human beings first.

Neurotypical Disorder Causes Problems for Some, Hope for Others

The following is a satirical work. All of the people are fictional. Any resemblance to real people is purely coincidental.

Sammy Henderson may seem at first glance like a typical six-year-old boy. He is very active, playful, and talkative. He shows a lot of enthusiasm when excited, such as by running where he's going or talking extremely loudly about areas of interest.

But Sammy is one of the 67 in 68 children who suffers from neurotypical disorder. Neurotypical disorder impedes the sufferer's ability to function separately from a social group, as well as limiting the logical thought process.

According to Sammy's parents, Peter and Caroline, Sammy has difficulties in establishing a functional routine, adhering instead to his habits of procrastination or refusal to accomplish required tasks.

Even something as simple as washing hands after using the bathroom can be difficult. Caroline tells me that Sammy often dishonestly claims to have washed his hands, even though she did not hear the water running. “It's difficult. I don't go in [the bathroom] with him anymore, so I can't stand over him and make sure he does it. I'm not really sure what to do.”

More complicated tasks often present greater difficulties. “It's always a chore getting him into bed,” says Caroline. “He knows he's tired, but he refuses to acknowledge it.” Instead, she often finds him creating battles between action figures depicting characters who have never actually met in any official storyline. “I don't know why he has the Hulk fighting Megatron,” explains Peter, “but he seems to enjoy it.”

Although unrealistic, Sammy's imagination appears to be quite complex. When I met the Hendersons, Sammy spent much of the visit insisting that he was a dragon, going so far as to explain when he was “breathing fire” at us. This belief persisted, despite explanations that he is not a dragon, and, in fact, dragons do not exist. These facts simply did not appear to enter his awareness.

Sadly, these behaviors are far too common among children who suffer from neurotypical disorder. Many parents will also report that their children will run into a street in front of cars, for no other purpose than to chase a toy. This is obviously contrary to common sense, which would tell us that personal safety should take precedence over retrieval of a toy.

However, not all believe neurotypical disorder to be something to be feared. Meet Debbie Garrickson. Her daughter, Emylie, recently started her sophomore year of high school. Like Sammy, Emylie also suffers form neurotypical disorder.

Last year was a particularly difficult time for Emylie's family. The Garricksons had recently moved, and Emylie began her first year of high school, with no friends sharing the same school.

“Emylie has always been really attached to her friends,” says Debbie. “She kinda got real depressed without anyone to hang out with.” Debbie explained to me the effect this had on the family. “She didn't join in any family activities. Sometimes she yelled at us for moving away from her friends, but she mostly just holed up in her room.”

It wasn't long before Emylie found new friends. Debbie encourages this coping mechanism. “Sure, she still doesn't want to play on family game night or anything, but at least she's getting out and doing stuff.”

In addition to encouraging her daughter to spend so much time with her friends instead of at home, Debbie offers a lot of freedom to Emylie. “Oh, I don't know [what they're doing]. Hanging out at the mall, looking at boys, whatever they do….Sure I worry, but what can you do? It's not like I can follow them around everywhere they go. You gotta let go some time.”

This approach to raising children with neurotypical disorder appears to show a lot of success. When they grow up, the symptoms of neurotypical disorder may impede children like Sammy or Emylie in jobs, such as scientific research or computer programming, that require logical thinking and attention to fine details. However, the inherent social skills and desire to succeed in a competitive situation may help in careers such as sales and professional sports.

As of yet, there is no known cure for neurotypical disorder. Many have suggested that the measles, mumps, and rubella (MMR) vaccine may play a key role in curing neurotypical disorder, but the vast majority of current scientific research suggests that there is no link.

Others believe that a high-gluten diet may reduce the risk of neurotypical disorder in children. Gluten may kill off harmful gastrointestinal bacteria that cause a high dependency on social interactions. There is little evidence to support this theory, but it may be worth further investigation.

Still others believe that neurotypical disorder has always existed at its current rate. The decline in prevalence may simply be due to our increasing ability to discern it from other, healthy types of brains.

Many other theories about the cause and declining prevalence of neurotypical disorder exist. Obviously, further research is required. My hope is that we can find the cause, so we can help children like Sammy and Emylie, and perhaps prevent other children from suffering from this disorder in the future.

#AutismUnity

Columnist and autism advocate Steve Silberman recently published a column in the LosAngeles Times, in which he thoroughly criticized the actions of Autism Speaks, accusing the organization of not actually listening to the people they claim to be helping. I recommend reading Silberman's piece. He is a well-spoken advocate, sharing many views with the majority of the Autistic community.

In response, president of Autism Speaks Liz Feld wrote a piece the organization's blog, in which she attempted to refute the allegations made by Silberman, as well as calling for unity in the autism community. Much of the piece was spent seemingly confirming Silberman's criticisms, presenting them as positives. I do not wish to spend this post untangling those, or addressing the half-truths and outright lies embedded in Feld's writing.

Instead, I would like to focus my attention on the community's response to Feld's call for unity. On September 3^rd, the organization BoycottAutism Speaks organized a message bombing campaign on Twitter, using the #AutismUnity hashtag, encouraging members of the community to voice their opposition to Autism Speaks' message.

I understand there is a certain irony to promoting unity by shutting out some people from the discussion. The truth of the matter is that no one has done more to leave autistic people and differing points of view out of the discussion about autism that Autism Speaks.

In fact, we do need to promote more unity within the autism community. There are multiple facets of the community, including autistic adults and children, parents, professionals, and researchers. All have something to gain from and offer to each other.

I've felt for a long time that autistic people should be at the forefront of the autism discussion. We're the ones who are being talked about, and it's our futures that are being decided. I feel that many of us can make a difference simply by allying ourselves and talking to parents, as well as becoming role models for autistic children, who will become the next generation of autistic adults.

Almost as important in the discussion as autistic people are parents. Aside from raising us to adulthood, and in some cases, much further, parents tend to learn a lot about the system that is designed to help us function in the world. As such, they learn about many of the problems in the system that many self-advocates are all but unaware of. Communication of these problems is essential to make progress and improve the system.

I would also encourage professionals and researchers to take part in the community. I personally know some professionals who have done this. They appear to come away with a better idea of what autistic people need for our daily lives. It's also much harder to not think of members of your social circle as fully fleshed out human beings, as appears to have traditionally been a problem among researchers.

This kind of unity requires that we abandon the demeaning types of messaging promoted by Autism Speaks. We need to stop thinking of autism as a disease or affliction. There is no room in unity to say that some of us are “barely living.”

It's time to celebrate the diversity that exists within our society. We need to embrace autism as a part of the larger human family. Only then can we create the accommodations necessary for equality.

Let me leave you with a few examples of #AutismUnity from Twitter:

Autism Speaks, stop speaking for people who can already communicate 4 themselves! #AutismUnity means it’s time to sit down and LISTEN!
#AutismUnity means we can't let the vile things Autism Speaks says about us and our neuro-siblings go unchallenged
#AutismUnity: Respect, Dignity & Acceptance for #ActuallyAutistic people, the opposite of what Autism Speaks does to us, without us!
#AutismUnity shouldn't mean erasure. Autism acceptance doesn't mean giving up on learning coping or self care skills. We can do both.
#AutismUnity is sitting with an autistic friend, stimming in sync. Being who we are. Supporting each other. Autism doesn't stop friendships
#AutismUnity is autistic people talking back to @AutismSpeaks, an organization that claims to speak for them. It's time to listen.
#AutismUnity is acceptance, accommodation, celebration of the diverse individuals that make up the autism spectrum. It is not cure culture.
#AutismUnity means listening to Autistic people. We should be leading the conversation about our own lives.

Neurotypical Disorder

Diagnostic Criteria for Neurotypical Disorder

A. Persistent dependence on social communication and social interaction across multiple contexts, as manifested by the following, currently or by history (examples are illustrative, not exhaustive):

1. Heavy reliance on nonverbal communicative behaviors in social interaction, ranging, for example, from automatically fixating on another's eyes; to use of facial expressions, body language, and gestures in place of words or phrases.

2. Dependence on developing and maintaining relationships, ranging, for example, from altering behavior according to various social situations; to absence of interest in solitary activities.

3. Visible distress when social-emotional reciprocity, ranging, for example, from social approach and normal back-and-forth conversation; to sharing of interests, emotions, or affect, is not given.

B. Mindless, routine patterns of behavior, interests, or activities, as manifested by at least two of the following, currently or by history (examples are illustrative, not exhaustive):

1. Specified or vague motor movements, use of objects, or speech (e.g., linguistic gestures, pretending a block is a car or a stick is a gun, metaphoric phrases, expectation that others will understand the meaning).

2. Lack of awareness of differences, mindless adherence to routines, or ritualized patterns of verbal or nonverbal behavior (e.g., obliviousness to small changes, scripted greeting rituals, taking the same route when going somewhere else).

3. Shallow, unfocused interests (e.g., little attachment to or preoccupation with unusual objects, lack of in-depth knowledge into recent interests).

4. Hyper- or hyporeactivity to sensory input or lack of interest in sensory aspects of the environment (e.g., adverse response to pain/temperature, apparent indifference to specific sounds or textures, little smelling or touching objects, no interest toward lights or movement).

C. Symptoms must be present in the early developmental period (but may not be fully apparent until social situations allow full manifestation, or may be masked in non-social situations).

D. Symptoms cause significant impairment in logical reasoning, interactions with inanimate objects, and other non-social areas of functioning.

E. These disturbances are not better explained by stalking behaviors. Stalking behaviors and neurotypical disorder frequently co-occur; to make comorbid diagnosis of neurotypical disorder and stalking behaviors, normal social behavior should be at expected developmental level.

Early Development:

Though diagnosis is usually not possible so early, research suggests that an early marker of neurotypical disorder may be strange and repetitive babbling during infanthood. This usually transitions into words and complete sentences during the child's second year.

Children with neurotypical disorder often gravitate toward other children with a similar condition. Groups of children with neurotypical disorder will often mimic characters or event they have seen in entertainment, such as acting like superheroes or behaving as if they are in space. Some will attempt to convince adults that they are animals, such as dogs or dinosaurs.

Many children with neurotypical disorder will specifically exclude children from play who are not suitably similar to them, sometimes to the point of bullying. A child may have no explanation for this behavior, other than “he's weird” or “she's gross.”

In the absence of a suitable companion, many children with neurotypical disorder will create a friend out of thin air. They will play with this “friend” as though he or she were there, and often introduce the “friend” to parents. Most will grow out of this behavior by adolescent years.

Adulthood:

Adults with neurotypical disorder are often more willing to engage in non-social activities, as required. They are still highly dependent on social interactions. Most show a preference to spending free time in public with friends, instead of, for example, staying home with a jigsaw puzzle.

An adult with neurotypical disorder will often take intense interest in the private lives of celebrities. Many, especially males, will exhibit screaming and yelling behaviors while observing sporting events. Much importance appears to be placed on the outcome of such events, though they appear to have little impact on the individuals' lives.

Many adults with neurotypical disorder seem to be more accepting than children of non-neurotypical individuals. Most, however, will still consider behaviors that they do not understand to be wrong, and will usually attempt to correct them.

Causes:

The primary factor in the development of neurotypical disorder appears to be genetic, though it may be possible that this works in conjunction with environmental triggers or the lack thereof.

Treatments:

Neurotypical disorder appears to be a lifelong condition, though some individuals appear to grow out of it, often by acquiring a different diagnosis. This is not common.

There is no known cure for neurotypical disorder. No medications have shown conclusive results. Research suggests that being in a group composed mainly of people without neurotypical disorder can relieve some symptoms.

Some adults attempt to self-medicate using alcohol, cannabis, or other substances. This is not recommended, as many can have sometimes unpredictable side effects, or even exaggerate symptoms.

Prevalence:

Current estimates place the prevalence of neurotypical disorder at 67 in 68. This has declined from 87 in 88 in the year 2008. Scientists are currently attempting to discover the cause of the decline in rates.

Autism Miracle Cures

Stephen Hawking once said, “The greatest enemy of knowledge is not ignorance, but the illusion of knowledge.” When we think we know something, we tend to ignore evidence to the contrary and look for things to support what we think we know. This isn't much of a problem when it comes to things like Hawking's area of expertise, black holes. However, there are some more commonplace subjects where the illusion of knowledge can cause some real damage.

One particular case that jumps to my mind is so-called miracle cures for autism. I will say up front that there is no cure for autism, nor do I think there ever will be one, short of a complete brain transplant. Despite this, there is no shortage of self-proclaimed experts selling their miracle cures over the internet, usually at great costs to their customers. It should also be noted that the intended recipients of these treatments are typically children, who are at greater risk of harmful side effects.

Some miracle treatments are relatively harmless, such as broccoli or camel's milk. These can even be beneficial, in that they provide nutrients that everyone needs. However, after having read about them, I'm unconvinced that there is any benefit to be gained from either beyond what a neuronormal person would experience.

There is one miracle cure from the 1990's that I'd like us to keep in mind throughout the rest of the list: auditory training. The theory was that autism is caused by a sensitivity to certain sound frequencies. Those selling this therapy hoped that by regularly exposing autistic people to these often painful frequencies, the sensitivity would be overcome, and therefore, the autism would be cured.

You may or may not see some problems with this theory. Either way, we'll come back to it later.

Looking back again at current miracle cures, one of the more common is chelation. Chelation is meant to extract harmful heavy metals, such as mercury or lead, out of the body. Its use as a treatment for autism stems from the belief that autism is caused by exposure to mercury from vaccines or other sources. The problem is that there is no evidence that autism has anything to do with heavy metals of any kind.

Further, chelation can be dangerous. When administered properly, it can cause low blood calcium, dehydration, and kidney damage. When it's used improperly, including when there is no heavy metal poisoning, it can cause an increased risk of cancer, neurodevelopmental disorders, and even death.

If I were experiencing obvious symptoms of heavy metal poisoning, I would probably take my chances on chelation. However, there is no medical or scientific reason to use chelation as a treatment for autism. Doing so can be very dangerous.

Another treatment that has been under scrutiny since 2008 is a solution called Miracle Mineral Solution (MMS). MMS is sodium chlorite dissolved in distilled water. It's said to cure anything from colds and flus, to cancer, to HIV, and yes, even autism.

What its promoters do not say is that the combination of sodium chlorite and water produces industrial-strength bleach. I shouldn't have to tell you that even small amounts can cause some very unpleasant side effects, up to and including death. Knowing that, it should be common sense to stay away from it.

Other common miracle cures include CocoKefir products, which have fallen under FDA investigation for false claims, and Epsom Salt.

We all know that Epsom Salt can be relaxing, which can benefit anyone who lives with a lot of stress, including overwhelming sensory input. However, long term use can have some unpleasant side effects as well, including dizziness, heart problems, skin irritation, and muscle weakness. I would suspect there wouldn't be a problem with periodic use, but don't expect it to cure your child's autism.

I should probably say something about gluten-free or casein-free diets. There is a movement claiming that autism is caused by gastrointestinal problems. I've seen several studies claiming anywhere from a strong link to no link at all. I don't know the details of most of them well enough to comment on the accuracy, but I can say a few things.

If you have a child that is unable to properly digest certain foods, it's obviously a good idea not to feed your child those foods, regardless of any other diagnoses they might have. I can also imagine the combination of autism and gluten intolerance to be a huge problem. Imagine if your stomach is in horrible pain, and you have little to no ability to communicate that to the person controlling your diet.

On the other hand, if there are no apparent issues with digestion or food allergies, it doesn't seem like there's any reason to avoid certain foods.

I won't talk about all of the products and therapies out there purported to cure autism. There are simply too many to list here. If you find one, some words to watch out for are “miracle” and “scientific breakthrough.” If you see those, view the report with a healthy amount of skepticism. You should also be suspicious of long lists of conditions the treatment is supposed to cure. And let me reiterate, there is no cure for autism.

So what about auditory training? It seems that for the most part, science happened to it. For one, we know that hypersensitive hearing and autism often go hand in hand. In this case, I think we can agree now that we may have mistaken the symptom for the cause.

Additionally, it's auditory training has not been convincingly proven effective. A huge part of this is having never been tested against a control group, partially because no convincing placebo has been found. It's difficult to prove the effectiveness of a treatment when you can't tell how much of the progress came from the illusion of receiving treatment, or even how much would naturally happen without treatment.

Before I finish, I want to say that I do understand the desperation that some parents go through when their child is diagnosed with autism. You're often given some very bleak predictions. You probably only want your child to reach their full potential.

The thing is, your child's full potential may not be less than if he/she were neuronormal. It's probably just on a different path. I'm not even talking necessarily about the Temple Grandins or the (possibly) Bill Gates's of the world. Severely autistic people have proven themselves as highly talented artists. Some have also shown more practical skills, such as assembling IKEA furniture.

So what kinds of therapies would I suggest? There's a few things that have worked for me, as well as many of my autistic friends. Speech therapy has been shown to have a positive effect. Also, many autistic children find it easier to communicate when they have a pet to focus on.

The most important things, however, are to interact with and communicate with your child as though he/she were normal, and to nurture and encourage your child's interests, no matter how bizarre or obsessive they may seem. You never know which path may lead to your child's full potential. Be creative.

Are Autistic Hobbies Really Obsessive?

Several Decembers ago, I found myself with some newly acquired Christmas money in my pocket and some time off work with nothing to do. I went to the local hobby shop to find something to remedy both of these problems. While perusing the plastic model aisle, my eye caught a Master Grade Gundam Mk-II. I wasn't especially familiar with Gundam at the time, but the fact that it was like an action figure that you build from a kit shot the cool factor off the charts.

After discovering the variety of Gundam models available, I quickly developed a new hobby. My latest project, which I just finished applying the decals to yesterday, was a Perfect Grade Unicorn Gundam, complete with the LED unit and Full Armor unit. It took me nearly a week to build it all, and another week just to apply decals.

Full disclosure, I am not a professional model builder, nor do I aspire to become one. I would not say that what I build is suitable for display outside my own place of residence. I just enjoy building Gundam models, as well as similar types of robot models from Japan, and then posing them and displaying them.

The only reason I bring this up is because of hobbies.

One of the defining traits of autism is obsessive hobbies. Activities that we will tend to devote most of our free time to. They stay on our minds when we aren't doing them, and we talk about them a lot to other people. Whenever our minds idle, they tend to gravitate toward our hobbies.

To be honest, this is a concept that I find difficult to understand. To me, the above paragraph defines not an obsessive hobby, but a hobby. If something doesn't fit that description, I consider it to by at most a mild interest.

That has made me wonder how it is that an autistic person's interests differ from those of a neuronormal person.

To be clear, I'm not talking about obsessions that we might consider unhealthy, that negatively impact other parts of the person's life. Things like hoarding decades' worth of newspapers or losing your life savings to gambling. I'm talking about interests that those around us might be bothered or concerned by, but otherwise don't have many negative consequences, such as my Gundam hobby I mentioned at the beginning.

The first thing I think of when I hear “obsessive hobby” is how much time and resources a person spends on his/her hobby. It is true that when I'm in the middle of a project, I tend to spend the vast majority of my time working on it. Other times, I want to make sure I have adequate tools and supplies and a functional workspace.

This is not dissimilar to the habits of other autistic people I know. I personally know people on the autism spectrum who spend most of their free time painting, writing fan fics, or just sketching characters for future projects. I've also known people who spend their time drawing road maps or researching the weather or various points in history.

However, I have to ask how this differs from how a neuronormal person spends his/her free time. For example, I remember my mom used to spend hours alone in her sewing room. She seemed to lose track of what was else was going on while she was working. I also remember a coworker of mine, who enjoys metalworking, excitedly telling me about acquiring a $500 toolbox for his garage.

Another prime example is musicians. We all know how often musicians will take out their instruments and start playing, given the chance. They also tend to spend a lot of time and money customizing and maintaining their instruments. In fact, it would be fair to say that music is a full time hobby. Some may consider musicians to be obsessive, but I've never heard anyone describe that level of interest in music to be autistic.

So, if we're more obsessive about our interests, I don't think it's because of the amount of time and resources we put into them. Maybe it's how much we talk about our interests.

Again, I'm going to have to disagree. If you know a car guy, you have almost certainly seen pictures of his latest accomplishment. It's not unlikely that you've even seen before and after pictures, along with verbal descriptions of what he's done. He's not obsessive. He's just sharing his interest with you, whether you care or not.

I'll also have to point to sports culture. Before and after every game, I'm always surrounded by talk of football, something I have absolutely no interest in. People talk about not only the players and coaches, and who they think will win and why, but also how the results of the game will affect the rest of the season and who will go to the playoffs.

This aspect of sports culture is fully acknowledged and accepted, as evidenced by the fact that some will ask that others around them not talk about the game that they recorded to watch later. That request is almost always respected.

Of course, when an autistic person is talking about his/her hobbies, the conversation seems a little more one-sided. I will not dispute that. However, I will dispute that it's indicative of obsession. You have to remember that autism is a social disability, which affects our conversational skills. We have a tendency to monologue at people when we talk, no matter what the subject is. Taking that into consideration, I think we can discount that as well.

Looking at the evidence, I think it's only reasonable to conclude that either autistic people are not obsessive about their hobbies or that neuronormal people are. It's simply a normal human behavior, filtered through a different type of brain.

Minorities Have Made Gains, But Still Have Far to Go

This Thursday, June 18^th, was the tenth annual Autistic Pride Day. A day for autistic people to celebrate our differences. It's a day for verbal and nonverbal people, those with intellectual disability or not, all across the autism spectrum to come together and focus on the positives of being autistic.

Since the creation of Autistic Pride Day, more and more people have become comfortable being openly autistic. Awareness and acceptance of autism have spread. It's becoming more common for even those outside the autism community to be accepting of autism as a natural variant of a healthy brain.

Unfortunately, tragedy struck on the same day in the United States, in the form of a domestic terrorist attack. A man entered a public building and announced of the inhabitants that they have “raped our women, and [they] are taking over the country ... I have to do what I have to do.” He then proceeded to kill nine people, including South Carolina State Senator Clementa Pinckney.

If you've been paying any attention at all to the news the past few days, you know what I'm talking about. I will not name the shooter here because I don't want to give him any more recognition than is necessary, nor will I talk about the politics of gun control, since I think that's best left for another time.

I will, however, say a few things about the mental health discussion. There seems to be a pattern in the reporting of high profile crimes like this. When the suspect is Muslim, we tend to hear talk about the supposedly inherent violence within Islam. If the suspect is black, there's talk of family structure and parental responsibility. In the case of a white suspect, the discussion often turns to mental health.

I'll say up front that I believe all of these to be inappropriate, since they all attempt to draw a line between 'us' and 'them.' Instead, I feel it's more important to look at the real motivation for each case. In this case, whether the shooter was mentally ill or not, this crime was not caused by mental illness. It was clearly caused by hate. Unlike mental illness, hate is taught by others. It's important to fight that by spreading not just tolerance, but acceptance of diversity.

Personally, I feel that the most offensive part of this story is the way it was covered on Fox News. Fox has presented story after story saying that this man's motivation was to kill Christians. While it is reasonable to assume that the victims were all Christian, comedian Mike Yard asked the question on The Nightly Show with Larry Wilmore, how many churches this man passed on the way to this one, occupied by entirely black people? This, combined with what he said himself before opening fire, strongly suggests that this crime was racially motivated.

There is a reason I mention both of these events together, Autistic Pride Day and the attack in South Carolina. Few people would argue that the racial equality movement has made considerable progress. The fact that this attack has gotten so much attention, when similar attacks were common in the 1960's, demonstrates that. However, the fact that this attack happened at all in the 21^st century illustrates another point that I want to highlight.

No matter how far an equality movement comes, and no matter how unpopular hate against a minority gets, there will always be those who oppose equality. It is important to always continue pushing forward. Otherwise, the movement can easily lose ground and start slipping back.

The support of those outside a minority is vitally important. It's expected, for example, to hear a black person talking about racial equality. It tends to mean more to those who need to learn to hear it from someone they perceive as being one of their own.

Now, I know in the autistic community, we don't usually have to worry about mass shooters targeting us. We do have our own concerns, though. We are often shut out of the job market. Several of our number have been killed by their own caregivers, who are then made to look like only a victim in the story. We even have our own self-appointed advocates who actively speak against our message.

In fact, all minorities have their own sets of concerns and problems. Whether we're talking about racial or religious minorities, women, Native Americans, the LGBT community, or those with any type of disability, we need to stand together. Find out what each movement wants to say, and stand up for them. Never give up the push for equality. We're all human beings first.

An Overdue Apology

Shortly after the first time I was published in our local newspaper, The Register Guard, I was contacted by a woman whom we'll call Mary. She was impressed by what I had written, and wanted to meet me. She also wanted me to meet her son, we'll call him Jim, who is also autistic.

Mary is friendly and outgoing. She came across as a caring and open-minded mother. I might also add generous (thanks again for lunch, if you're reading this). Jim seemed kind of shy, but not at all unfriendly. He's independent, and one of the autistic people lucky enough to have found a steady job.

Overall, I thought it was a fun meeting. Although, I feel like I owe Jim an apology.

Naturally, most of our conversation centered around the subjects of autism and the autism community. As you may know from reading my writings, I have a lot to say about that, and I can get rather passionate about it. That may not have been a problem in a less public space.

I'm pretty open about my own autism. Of course, I don't tell every single person I meet. There are a couple of reasons. The most obvious is that I don't want to spend that much time explaining what it means. The other is that I do notice that people tend to treat me differently depending on whether I tell them I'm autistic right away, or if I give them a chance to get to know me first. By and large, though, I don't feel as though I should have to hide that I'm autistic.

Jim, on the other hand, takes a very different view. Mary was telling me that he's somewhat embarrassed by his diagnosis, which I should have noticed while we were talking. My understanding is that he doesn't share it with his friends and coworkers, for fear of being judged.

The thing is Jim's fears aren't entirely unfounded. In my experience, most Millennials and many Gen Xers tend to be willing to see autism as it is when it's presented to them. However, many people still think of Dustin Hoffman's Rainman when they hear autism. It can be frustrating trying to show someone that you're not stupid, while simultaneously telling them to do their own math.

Other people will sometimes appoint themselves as social skills teachers. While this can be appropriate coming from parents, teachers, caregivers, and significant others, it's probably best left alone by friends and coworkers. A lot of people often get the lessons wrong, and even if it's correct, it can still feel demeaning.

Even worse is when a person, who may be otherwise respectful and open-minded, takes the knowledge that a friend of their's is autistic as permission to share it with anyone they choose. This then extends the problems with disclosing to people that you may not be aware know about your diagnosis. I try to remember now to tell people that I want to be the one to choose when and how to disclose to others.

Being openly autistic, I choose to take these risks along with it. My goal in doing so is to create a world in which people like Jim do not need to worry about being treated differently. However, as things are now, Jim should have a right to choose not to take those same risks that I do.

To be honest, most of the autistic people I know are comfortable with their autism, and at least marginally comfortable sharing it with others. Of those who aren't, either autism is not normally the topic of conversation when I'm with them or we're surrounded by members of the autism community. Further, I consider it a failure on my part if the majority of the neuronormal people I know don't have a positive and accurate view of autism.

Because of the environment I've created for myself, I sometimes forget that others are uncomfortable with being autistic. I'll try to be more sensitive to that in the future.

Jim, even though I've changed your name here, I trust you know who you are. I hope you accept my apology.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Update: "Mary" sent me the following response, which was intended as a comment, but exceeded the character limit. I would like to post it here:

DAVID .... Sorry it took me a few days to respond, but I've never "blogged" before.  (Smile).  

It was compassionate and generous of you to offer your apology, but heavens, one surely was not needed!   You did nothing at all to apologize for.

When I saw your great articles about autism in the Register Guard, I was inspired to contact and meet you -- as outside of my son (whom we are calling "Jim" here), I've never met an autistic person who is functioning out there as "normal" in the real world.  I thought it would be good for Jim to meet someone similar to himself -- as although he functions in the world with no apparent handicap, he goes through a lot of stress trying to piece together and understand conversations.  (An autistic brain thing, most likely).  This causes him great angst at work.~

Jim works for a large lumber mill running a machine, and has held this job for almost 15 years.  He interviewed for and got the job totally by himself, and no one there knows of his autism -- although some probably view him as a bit "different." 

Jim was diagnosed as "clasically autistic" at age 4, and didn't have meaningful speech until age 7.  Fortunately, there was no retardation. 

I wrote to Dr. Bernard Rimland (the "father of autism") back in the 60's for help, as no definitive help existed out there.  He referred us to work with Dr. Ivar Lovaas at UCLA (renown at the time), and through many wonderful people and relentless hard work, Jim improved each year.  (Too lengthy to go into here, but David Olson has my "story" about Jim detailing much of this).

Jim is now 52, has had his steady job at the mill for 14+ years, owns his own home, drives his car(s), and for all practical purposes is integrated successfully into society.  He has never married (oh, the heartbreaks and rejections I've gone through with him~), but am happy to report that he has now been in an exclusive "relationship" for over 5 years. 

For about 25 years (mid 20's to late 40's), Jim was plagued with panic attack type "melt-downs", mostly out in public, when he experienced "information overload."  These manifested in seizure-type episodes, and so many times ambulances were called.  These were so stressful for both of us!   By the miracle of Jim's inner strength and fierce resolve to overcome, I'm happy to report that he has actually "trained his brain" not to have these -- and instead he covers his mouth, takes deep breaths, and walks away from the perceived stress.  David, this is what you saw the day the 3 of us met for lunch -- smile.  We were seated outside next to other folks, and Jim could see they were listening to our conversation about autism (including his).  He was mortified about this for various reasons.

First, he still carries the stigma of going to elementary school (to Special Ed class) on what kids called "the retard bus."  He learned back then that if he was to be accepted (instead of taunted) by his peers, he needed to be like they appeared to be -- "normal."  

Fast forward ahead to when he got his job at the mill over 14 years ago.  Again, they never would have hired him (risky machinery to work around, etc.), had they known he was afflicted with a malady of any type.  So for all these reasons, Jim must remain "underground" about the autism.

One of the reasons I loved the articles you wrote, David, is because you are directly addressing autism and educating the public (however long it takes them~) about this little understood malady.  I doubt if the "good ole boys" at the mill would really "get it" and show any tolerance at this point in time -- but it's people like you (ha, if there are any, David!) who are on the ground swell and leading the way for the rest of us. 

With efforts like yours, we're hopefully working toward a more tolerant and informed society.  Keep up your wonderful work!

In appreciation, "Mary" (ficticious name) -- "Jim's" mom

A Request for Better Employment Standards for Autistic Adults

The following is an open letter to all legislators in Salem, Oregon and Washingtion, D.C. It is composed of ideas discussed by a self-advocacy group that I run in Eugene.

Dear Congressman / Senator:

As you may or may not be aware, the combined unemployment and underemployment rate for young adults with autism is estimated about 90%. We feel that this is far too high. Many autistic adults are willing and able to work and support themselves. We feel that they should be given the opportunity to do so.

Vocational Rehabilitation does exist to help disabled people, including autistic people, find employment. However, many people who use this system are required to work for free in an assessment position, often for years. We feel that a job assessment, if it does not come with full pay, should be capped at no more than one month. After that amount of time, a caseworker should be able to ascertain what an individual is capable of.

Once work is found, many employers look for ways to pay disabled workers as little as possible, taking advantage of the fact that it is legal to pay disabled workers less than minimum wage. We feel that this is wrong, and that everyone deserves the dignity of a living wage.

However, we also understand that some workers are so severely disabled that they do not produce minimum wage level work. In these cases, we feel that it would be appropriate for the employer to pay the worker what the worker is worth, and for the state to pay the rest, at least up to minimum wage.

Often, the work that is sought by employment agencies is very low level, such as filling envelopes or pushing brooms, and often part-time. These types of jobs lack dignity.

Currently, Walgreens is demonstrating that autistic workers are capable of the same unskilled jobs that are sought for non-autistic workers. Microsoft and Freddie Mac are demonstrating that autistic workers are capable of professional positions. We ask that all employment agencies working for disabled people consider these possibilities.

We feel that in the long run, finding meaningful employment for autistic adults will result in fewer tax dollars being spent, as they will be able to earn their own living, and no longer be collecting financial supports.

In addition, we believe there are broader economic benefits to having more autistic adults working. First, it is possible to make more money from even an unskilled job than from government benefits. That results in more money being spent in the economy. Second, when an autistic adult is working, he/she is providing work to an employer in exchange for his/her paycheck, which produces more wealth in the economy.

Thank you for taking the time to read this, and please consider taking action on these issues.

Sincerely,

David Olson

Director of A.V.O.I.C.E.

Autistics Voicing Our Interests in Change and Equality

The R-Word

Why is the word 'retarded' considered offensive? It's clear that people are becoming more accepting of the concept of neurodiversity, but this is a topic that many people still don't fully understand.

As you are no doubt aware, this is a word that has been applied to individuals with intellectual, social, and neurological disabilities. When I was growing up, 'mental retardation' was the accepted term for many people within these groups. Of course, at the time, it was widely believed that these individuals were mostly unaware of the world around them.

We know differently now. Most research suggests that even the most profoundly disabled individuals have some awareness of what happens around them. Today, many disability advocates request that we do not use the word 'retarded' to describe people with intellectual and other disabilities. To do so minimizes them, implying that they don't count as full humans.

But what if a person actually is so profoundly disabled that they actually have no awareness of the people surrounding them, or what is being said about them? Is it okay to refer to them as 'retarded?' I think we should look to the previous paragraph to find our answer.

We've already decided that it's inappropriate to degrade an individual if it's discovered that person has some level of awareness of the activities of others. We've also learned that it isn't always obvious when a person is. Would it not be appropriate to assume this may also be true of even more profoundly disabled people?

Further, we should perhaps ask ourselves why we need to use such a dismissive term to refer to anyone, regardless of their mental faculties. Shouldn't we show each individual as much human dignity as can be afforded to them?

Having said all of that, I don't find that as offensive as some other uses of the word. Certainly, it is dismissive to use a word, whose dictionary definition is 'slowed down or impeded,' to refer to intellectually, socially, or neurologically disabled people.

My primary contention with the word 'retarded' is its use to describe stupidity, frivolity, or defectiveness. For example, referring to a friend who is displaying less than intelligent behavior as a 'retard,' or describing their actions as 'retarded.' I've also heard people describing their phones or cars and 'retarded' if they aren't working properly.

This use of the word is thoroughly ingrained in our language now. In fact, it's not unlikely that you occasionally use it without realizing. You may not even be aware of the offensive nature of it. Most people even draw a strong distinction between the current use of the word and the now archaic clinical use.

Allow me to briefly talk about the history of the word, as I believe that will help you to understand.

The original, non-offensive, dictionary definition of the verb to retard is to slow down, impede, or hold back. You'll hear this use when people are talking about engine timing, music, and fluid dynamics. It's unlikely that you'll find many people in the disability community that have a problem with this use.

In 1895, the term 'mental retardation' started being used to denote slowed or impeded development of the mind. As I said before, it was widely believed until relatively recently that those labeled mentally retarded had little to no ability to understand the world around them. Unfortunately, society saw little use for these individuals.

Because the label of mental retardation also used to imply low intelligence, both parts of the term gradually found their way into mainstream culture as ways for people to call each other stupid. Only one seems to have stuck, possibly because 'mental' actually means of or pertaining to the mind. The word 'retarded' has gradually come to refer to anything that the speaker believes is not optimal.

Coming back to the topic at hand, many in the disability community are offended by the use of the word 'retarded,' as a synonym for stupid, because of this history. When you call your friend retarded, you are not just insulting your friend. You are are insulting every person with any intellectual, neurological, or social disability by using them as a comparison.

At this point in the conversation, some people will start talking about free speech. They don't want their right to use certain words to be taken away. Let me assure you, I have no desire for any law passed against the use of the word 'retarded.' I'm only trying to say how it looks to the rest of us.

I find most people want to be accepting of diversity. There are just some gaps in their understanding. I hope this has filled some of those gaps.

On the other hand, if you want to look like a dismissive bigot, perpetually stuck in the 1990's, by all means, continue using this word. The rest of us can move on without you.

Acting With Autism

Many are familiar with the artistic achievements of autistic people. There is no shortage of highly detailed drawings and paintings created by autistic hands. Autistic people have also created beautiful works of music, literature, and dance. With logical thought, attention to detail, an often creative mind, and a thought process outside of the norm of society, there is little doubt that autism is synonymous with art.

But what about the art of acting? Acting is a direct representation of human behavior and interaction with other people. Surely a social disability like autism would get in the way of that.

As it turns out, there are quite a few accomplished actors with autism. In fact, many autistic people who have tried acting feel that their autistic traits actually contribute to their ability to perform. It's even likely that acting can help autistic people to better navigate society.

The first thing that comes to mind is that when acting, there is usually a script and a fair amount of rehearsing. Obviously, that isn't the case in improvisational acting. However, when a script is provided, it does help to know ahead of time what you're saying and doing. It makes it easier to not miss cues or have to stop and think about your response.

Another obstacle that I've heard mentioned is that autistic people tend toward honesty. In fact, many autistic people are practically unable to lie. How is it that an autistic person can portray anyone but themselves on stage?

The answer is simple, really. In acting, there is no intent to deceive. Everyone knows that an actor is simply playing a character. During the performance, there is no pressure at all to be your true self.

The most obvious and apparent obstacle to acting would be the accurate portrayal of human behavior. It would seem that, since this is the most defining characteristic of autism, this most fundamental aspect of acting would be the most difficult. After all, we tend toward logic, and, as I've said in past posts, human behavior tends to be the opposite of logical.

In fact, we can make very effective use of our logical and analytical minds to portray normal human behavior. We can do this the same way we learn anything. There may not be much in the way of logic behind human behavior, but there are patterns.

Simply observing human behavior and recognizing the patterns can teach us a lot about how neuronormal people interact. We can then mimic those patterns on stage. In some ways, it may even be easier for us to do this as an outside observer. We can approach these observations without the same kinds of expectations that a neuronormal would, meaning we can perhaps learn more from each observation, comparing it to previous ones.

Another thing we have going for us is that we don't have an innate understanding of human social behavior. Most people learn social behavior from a desire to fit in. They simply mimic the behavior of those around them, knowing instinctively that that is the correct way to interact with others.

As children, most autistic people don't really connect our behavior to how others see us. We tend to stop trying to mimic others when it's made clear that we got it wrong, but never explained how. Because of this, we tend not to learn about appropriate social interaction until we're older. We have to think about it on a conscious level. The fact that we have to keep the social rules in the front of our mind translates to being able to portray such behaviors during a performance.

I said early on in this post that acting can help autistic people learn to live in a neuronormal world. I hope by now you might have some ideas how it might. I've spent the last several paragraphs talking about the ability to learn about social interaction and human behavior. It should be obvious that these same lessons can be applied off stage as well. I think in many cases, acting may be the motivator to learn about social interaction.

I can think of one further obstacle to autistic people acting. That would be the nervousness of getting on stage. Many of us tend to be shy. Why wouldn't we be? Many of us have spent much of our lives getting shot down when we tried to interact with others. It would seem that the natural shyness that comes after that would interfere with our ability to get on stage in front of a large number of people.

The truth is this is a problem for any actor. It's generally just scary to get up in front of people and, let's be honest, make a fool of yourself. First, many autistic actors, as well as autistic people doing other types of performances, find it easier to visualize an audience as a single entity, or even to ignore them entirely. You're there to perform, not to interact with the people watching you. It also helps to keep in mind that those people in the audience came, often paying good money, just to see you make a fool of yourself (also known as acting).

There are many other fears involving performance and what can go wrong. I won't get into all of them here, but there are many ways to get around those fears. It shouldn't be hard to find techniques that will work for you.

To be clear, acting is not for everyone. Some people can never get over their fear of the stage. Others just have no interest in it or don't enjoy it. My point is just that acting should not be seen as being outside the abilities of autistic people. Like any interest worth pursuing, it can be very beneficial to the person doing it. And of course, the most important thing is to have fun!

The Limits of Religious Freedom

It has happened. Certain forms of discrimination are now legal in the state of Indiana. In case you haven't been paying attention to the news for the last two weeks, Governor Mike Pence (R) of Indiana signed into law a bill that would prevent the state government from interfering with the religious practice of people.

Sounds reasonable, right? Well, there are two major problems I can see. First is that the bill defines a person as an individual, a religious organization, or a business. Businesses now have the right to free practice of religion in Indiana. The second problem is that many business owners have determined that serving certain people is a violation of their religious beliefs.

Since I normally write about autism, let me get this out of the way now. I don't believe that this law will result in autistic people being discriminated against. First, disabled people are a protected minority. Even though that often isn't very strictly enforced when it comes to autism, I don't know of anyone claiming that autism violates their religion.

As an advocate for equality, I feel I should stand up for other minorities as well. Since sexual preference and gender identity are not protected minorities under Indiana law, the people most likely to be negatively impacted by this law will be the LGBT community.

To fully understand what's going on here, let's go back to the beginning. In the 1960's and 70's, the US Supreme Court began to determine that limits can be placed on religious freedom if those limits apply to everyone, not just those practicing the religion. Most notably, Native American religious practices were attack by these rulings, famously including restrictions on the use of peyote during religious ceremonies, an action that affects no one but those who voluntarily take part in the ceremonies.

To counter these decisions, the Religious Freedom Restoration Act was passed by unanimous vote in the US House of Representatives, receiving only three votes against it in the Senate, and signed into law by President Bill Clinton in 1993. On a side note, contrary to the assertion of Gov. Pence, then not-yet-senator Barack Obama did not vote for the bill for obvious reasons. Since the passage of the RFRA, several states have passed bills affirming that it applies in their states.

So if other states have passed religious freedom laws, why is Indiana different? In part, it has to do with how the word 'person' is defined in the bill, including a partnership, a limited liability company, a corporation, a company, a firm, a society, a joint-stock company, and an unincorporated association. This, combined with certain absences from protected minorities in the state of Indiana, means that a business that asserts a religion can deny service to LGBT customers on religious grounds.

In fairness, Gov. Pence has stated that this law isn't about discrimination against gay people. He said that it simply puts a higher level of scrutiny on discrimination by government entities against religion. Let me translate that. In most states, when a person makes a discrimination complaint against a business, it's up to that person to prove the discrimination happened. Under this new law, when action is taken on a discrimination complaint by a government entity, the government entity will be required to prove that it is not infringing on the business's religious freedom.

As I understand it, a business still cannot claim religious freedom to refuse service to protected minorities. That means there is a very simple fix for this law. Simply declare sexual preference and gender identity to be protected minorities. Gov. Pence has stated that he will not seek to do this.

I've heard some people say they don't have a problem with this law because we have a right to discriminate in the United States, and why would you want to shop at a business that wants to discriminate against you anyway? At least now we'll know who they are.

I have a couple of problems with this mind set. It's arguable whether we have the right to discriminate against others. Whether we do or not, we don't have the right to run a business. Much like driving, it is a privilege granted by the government, which can be taken away if it is done in an inappropriate or dangerous manner.

We've already made the decision that businesses are not allowed to discriminate against certain minorities. In the 1960's, whites' only lunch counters were common. Even restrooms and drinking fountains were segregated. And yes, religion was sometimes used as a justification. Lyndon Johnson signed civil rights legislation into effect to counter this.

Why would we want to patronize businesses that discriminate against certain minorities? Well, we probably wouldn't, especially if they discriminate against minorities we might belong to. I'm familiar with this idea, since there are certain businesses I don't patronize to avoid any of my money being donated to Autism Speaks, an organization I have many problems with. However, I don't care that much what a business owner's opinion on minorities might be, as long as none of the businesses resources or income are used to act on it. You go into business to run a business and make money, not to exercise religion or force your values on others.

On one final note, I am absolutely in favor of religious freedom. Religion is an important thing for a lot of people. However, the line we've historically drawn is that you cannot use your religion against others. It's important to remember that in a country where everyone is free to worship as they please, or even not at all, none of us have the right to force others to believe as we do.

Autism Acceptance Month

For years, April has been observed in several countries around the world as Autism Awareness Month. Because of this, autism is now a household word, and most people are at least somewhat familiar with the kinds of challenges we face. With some help from the internet, the autism community is more connected than ever.

There's no question that autism awareness has led to some important accomplishments. However, I think it's time to take the concept even further. Some autistic-run organizations, such as the Autistic Self-Advocacy Network (ASAN), have proposed that we make the change to Autism Acceptance Month.

It might seem like a small change. Maybe unimportant, or strange to even consider. Awareness to acceptance? Let me see if I can sell you on it.

First thing, we're not removing anything from the spirit by taking the word 'awareness' out of the name. After all, it's hard to pro-actively accept something that you aren't aware of.

I think the only problem many of us in the autistic community have with Autism Awareness Month is how the awareness seems to be implemented. Most people seem to approach it the same way you would approach cancer awareness, as a horrible disease that affects millions of people, and needs to be stopped as soon as possible.

Most autistic people feel that's a poor representation of how we see ourselves. We recognize that we have different challenges that can make life difficult for us. However, we don't feel that this is a good reason to change who we are.

In addition, certain rhetoric, such as that of reclaiming lost children, can be damaging to some autistic people. You have to remember that this is how we were born, and it's how we'll always be. The notion that a person must be normal in order to qualify as a full person or to be seen as valuable to society can lead to severe depression when it's discovered that that's an impossible goal.

Another thing I often hear this time of year is to say that if a person displays a vaguely autistic trait, then they might be autistic. For example, if you see a child screaming in public, remember that they might be autistic. I find this to be useless, accomplishing nothing except creating unnecessary barriers between autistic and normal people.

Instead, let's try to keep in mind that autistic behavior isn't so different from that of a normal person. To use a similar example, if you see a child that you know to be autistic screaming in public, try to remember that most children use some form of tantrums to alert nearby adults that something is wrong.

So what should we be observing during Autism Acceptance Month? I would say that the focus should be on the positives. Recognize the positive traits of autism and think about what autistic people are good at. Remember the autistic people in your life. And above all, never forget that no matter what we look like or how we act, we are people, just like you.

I don't mean to ignore the negatives. We've all heard about social difficulties, problems reading nonverbal communication, repetitive, stereotyped motions (also called stims), adherence to routines, and narrow interests. Those are very real, and can be problematic in certain situations.

However, I believe most of the positive traits are the same traits as the negatives, but in a different context. Let's examine that with the above examples.

Let me go ahead and start at the end of the list, with narrow interests. I prefer to think of them as focused interests. In fact, the narrowed focus allows us to learn in depth details about that interest very quickly. Most of us will branch out into related subjects when we find we have to learn about something else to learn more about our interests. This also fits with the way most autistic people learn, starting with specifics and branching out into more general subjects.

As for routines, most autistic people, and in fact, most people in general, don't always like to deal with the unexpected. Many of us also need to take time to process how to handle a situation. Having a routine helps because it simultaneously creates a preset series of situations, meaning the thinking has all been done ahead of time, and limits the likelihood of unexpected circumstances.

I know part of the problem is that routines can sometimes be inefficient. Think about how many neuronormal people you know with inefficient routines. I don't mean to say just let it go, but when we're talking about acceptance, we should allow the same amount of leniency for inefficient behaviors toward both autistic and normal people.

Stimming is another coping mechanism. As far as I can tell, there are two main reasons to stim. One is to keep the mind running during times of high activity or near inactivity. The other is to burn off nervous energy to diffuse an impending meltdown.

In the spirit of acceptance, I should point out that stimming is another thing that neuronormal people engage in. Have you ever found yourself tapping a pen? That's the first type of stimming. How about nervously pacing? That's the second type. What would happen if someone were to stop you from either? Considering that, it should come as no surprise that stopping it isn't usually the best idea.

The social difficulties are a little tougher. You have to bear in mind that autistic people tend to be highly logical. As any Star Trek fan can tell you, human interaction tends to be highly illogical. Simply put, our brains are not wired to pick up on social rules. We're capable of it, but only through deliberate learning and conscious observation.

On the other hand, having a highly logical mind can be a huge advantage in several areas, including science, music, language, and many more.

One final note, take a moment to think of the autistic people in your life. What have they contributed to your experience on Earth? What would your life be like without them? It's likely that you know at least one or two autistic people, even if you don't know it.

To paraphrase notable autism activist Ari Ne'eman, normal should not be the goal. Happiness should be the goal. If you can, try to learn from us, autistic people, about autism this Autism Acceptance Month.