The R-Word

Why is the word 'retarded' considered offensive? It's clear that people are becoming more accepting of the concept of neurodiversity, but this is a topic that many people still don't fully understand.

As you are no doubt aware, this is a word that has been applied to individuals with intellectual, social, and neurological disabilities. When I was growing up, 'mental retardation' was the accepted term for many people within these groups. Of course, at the time, it was widely believed that these individuals were mostly unaware of the world around them.

We know differently now. Most research suggests that even the most profoundly disabled individuals have some awareness of what happens around them. Today, many disability advocates request that we do not use the word 'retarded' to describe people with intellectual and other disabilities. To do so minimizes them, implying that they don't count as full humans.

But what if a person actually is so profoundly disabled that they actually have no awareness of the people surrounding them, or what is being said about them? Is it okay to refer to them as 'retarded?' I think we should look to the previous paragraph to find our answer.

We've already decided that it's inappropriate to degrade an individual if it's discovered that person has some level of awareness of the activities of others. We've also learned that it isn't always obvious when a person is. Would it not be appropriate to assume this may also be true of even more profoundly disabled people?

Further, we should perhaps ask ourselves why we need to use such a dismissive term to refer to anyone, regardless of their mental faculties. Shouldn't we show each individual as much human dignity as can be afforded to them?

Having said all of that, I don't find that as offensive as some other uses of the word. Certainly, it is dismissive to use a word, whose dictionary definition is 'slowed down or impeded,' to refer to intellectually, socially, or neurologically disabled people.

My primary contention with the word 'retarded' is its use to describe stupidity, frivolity, or defectiveness. For example, referring to a friend who is displaying less than intelligent behavior as a 'retard,' or describing their actions as 'retarded.' I've also heard people describing their phones or cars and 'retarded' if they aren't working properly.

This use of the word is thoroughly ingrained in our language now. In fact, it's not unlikely that you occasionally use it without realizing. You may not even be aware of the offensive nature of it. Most people even draw a strong distinction between the current use of the word and the now archaic clinical use.

Allow me to briefly talk about the history of the word, as I believe that will help you to understand.

The original, non-offensive, dictionary definition of the verb to retard is to slow down, impede, or hold back. You'll hear this use when people are talking about engine timing, music, and fluid dynamics. It's unlikely that you'll find many people in the disability community that have a problem with this use.

In 1895, the term 'mental retardation' started being used to denote slowed or impeded development of the mind. As I said before, it was widely believed until relatively recently that those labeled mentally retarded had little to no ability to understand the world around them. Unfortunately, society saw little use for these individuals.

Because the label of mental retardation also used to imply low intelligence, both parts of the term gradually found their way into mainstream culture as ways for people to call each other stupid. Only one seems to have stuck, possibly because 'mental' actually means of or pertaining to the mind. The word 'retarded' has gradually come to refer to anything that the speaker believes is not optimal.

Coming back to the topic at hand, many in the disability community are offended by the use of the word 'retarded,' as a synonym for stupid, because of this history. When you call your friend retarded, you are not just insulting your friend. You are are insulting every person with any intellectual, neurological, or social disability by using them as a comparison.

At this point in the conversation, some people will start talking about free speech. They don't want their right to use certain words to be taken away. Let me assure you, I have no desire for any law passed against the use of the word 'retarded.' I'm only trying to say how it looks to the rest of us.

I find most people want to be accepting of diversity. There are just some gaps in their understanding. I hope this has filled some of those gaps.

On the other hand, if you want to look like a dismissive bigot, perpetually stuck in the 1990's, by all means, continue using this word. The rest of us can move on without you.