The following is a satirical work. All of the people are fictional. Any resemblance to real people is purely coincidental.
Sammy Henderson may seem at first glance like a typical six-year-old boy. He is very active, playful, and talkative. He shows a lot of enthusiasm when excited, such as by running where he's going or talking extremely loudly about areas of interest.
But Sammy is one of the 67 in 68 children who suffers from neurotypical disorder. Neurotypical disorder impedes the sufferer's ability to function separately from a social group, as well as limiting the logical thought process.
According to Sammy's parents, Peter and Caroline, Sammy has difficulties in establishing a functional routine, adhering instead to his habits of procrastination or refusal to accomplish required tasks.
Even something as simple as washing hands after using the bathroom can be difficult. Caroline tells me that Sammy often dishonestly claims to have washed his hands, even though she did not hear the water running. “It's difficult. I don't go in [the bathroom] with him anymore, so I can't stand over him and make sure he does it. I'm not really sure what to do.”
More complicated tasks often present greater difficulties. “It's always a chore getting him into bed,” says Caroline. “He knows he's tired, but he refuses to acknowledge it.” Instead, she often finds him creating battles between action figures depicting characters who have never actually met in any official storyline. “I don't know why he has the Hulk fighting Megatron,” explains Peter, “but he seems to enjoy it.”
Although unrealistic, Sammy's imagination appears to be quite complex. When I met the Hendersons, Sammy spent much of the visit insisting that he was a dragon, going so far as to explain when he was “breathing fire” at us. This belief persisted, despite explanations that he is not a dragon, and, in fact, dragons do not exist. These facts simply did not appear to enter his awareness.
Sadly, these behaviors are far too common among children who suffer from neurotypical disorder. Many parents will also report that their children will run into a street in front of cars, for no other purpose than to chase a toy. This is obviously contrary to common sense, which would tell us that personal safety should take precedence over retrieval of a toy.
However, not all believe neurotypical disorder to be something to be feared. Meet Debbie Garrickson. Her daughter, Emylie, recently started her sophomore year of high school. Like Sammy, Emylie also suffers form neurotypical disorder.
Last year was a particularly difficult time for Emylie's family. The Garricksons had recently moved, and Emylie began her first year of high school, with no friends sharing the same school.
“Emylie has always been really attached to her friends,” says Debbie. “She kinda got real depressed without anyone to hang out with.” Debbie explained to me the effect this had on the family. “She didn't join in any family activities. Sometimes she yelled at us for moving away from her friends, but she mostly just holed up in her room.”
It wasn't long before Emylie found new friends. Debbie encourages this coping mechanism. “Sure, she still doesn't want to play on family game night or anything, but at least she's getting out and doing stuff.”
In addition to encouraging her daughter to spend so much time with her friends instead of at home, Debbie offers a lot of freedom to Emylie. “Oh, I don't know [what they're doing]. Hanging out at the mall, looking at boys, whatever they do….Sure I worry, but what can you do? It's not like I can follow them around everywhere they go. You gotta let go some time.”
This approach to raising children with neurotypical disorder appears to show a lot of success. When they grow up, the symptoms of neurotypical disorder may impede children like Sammy or Emylie in jobs, such as scientific research or computer programming, that require logical thinking and attention to fine details. However, the inherent social skills and desire to succeed in a competitive situation may help in careers such as sales and professional sports.
As of yet, there is no known cure for neurotypical disorder. Many have suggested that the measles, mumps, and rubella (MMR) vaccine may play a key role in curing neurotypical disorder, but the vast majority of current scientific research suggests that there is no link.
Others believe that a high-gluten diet may reduce the risk of neurotypical disorder in children. Gluten may kill off harmful gastrointestinal bacteria that cause a high dependency on social interactions. There is little evidence to support this theory, but it may be worth further investigation.
Still others believe that neurotypical disorder has always existed at its current rate. The decline in prevalence may simply be due to our increasing ability to discern it from other, healthy types of brains.
Many other theories about the cause and declining prevalence of neurotypical disorder exist. Obviously, further research is required. My hope is that we can find the cause, so we can help children like Sammy and Emylie, and perhaps prevent other children from suffering from this disorder in the future.