Autism and Happiness

Most of the autistic people I talk to are happy with themselves as they are. However, I occasionally meet someone who sincerely wishes they were not autistic. I find this disappointing, as there are many unique traits that we have.

It's easy to see why a few autistic people are unhappy with themselves. We're all told from an early age everything that's wrong with us. This can wear a person down. I'd like to attempt to counter that negative message. Everything I say here will come back to one main point: You are not broken. You are a unique individual, with much to contribute to the world around you.

Let me start off with how autism is usually defined. As we know, the traits are usually described in an inherently negative way. For example:

• A fascination for details.
• A tendency to focus on oneself.
• Inflexible behaviors.
• Rigid attitudes.

Looks familiar. I don't think anyone will dispute the accuracy of that list. But, as a friend of mine said once, that list could just as easily be written as follows:

• A superior mind for details.
• Good ability to tune out social distractions.
• Excellent structure for organization.
• Resilience against peer/authority pressure.

While it refers to the exact same set of traits, it has a much more positive feel to it. The comparison, I think, speaks for itself. I believe this is the key to being happy about being autistic.

One of the things I think is great about autism is that every autistic person is an expert in something. It's very hard to maintain a high interest in a specific subject without gaining an encyclopedic knowledge of it. In addition, our interests tend to be unusual enough that most people don't learn anywhere near as much about them. Depending on the interest, it's often easy to find a way to put that kind of knowledge to use.

I know what you may be thinking. Your interests are weird or childish, and you get to wrapped up in them. I've been told that too. Frankly, I happen to like my weird and childish interests. It makes no sense to me to stay away from them just because they may not be popular. I also see no reason to pursue interests that I have no liking for, just because they're considered normal.

The intense focus can be a problem sometimes. However, as long as we can learn to keep our interests from interfering with life, I see no difference between that and the intense focus many neuronormal people place on, for example, football.

Perhaps the more obvious deficits related to autism are related to social interaction. These are also usually the first to come up when autistic people want to become normal. Learning how to socialize is important, but it can also be very difficult. The mistake that some people have made is that they try to force themselves to socialize in an uncomfortable situation. This will never work.

Most of the autistic people I've talked to that had success in learning to socialize have done so on their own terms. It's easiest to do so in a setting that you enjoy, and around people you're comfortable with. Never force it. Just try to let it come naturally, and accept that you will make mistakes. I assure you that it does become second nature with time.

I've also heard people talk about the comorbids of autism, such as depression, anxiety, mental illness, and gastrointestinal problems. Some people have speculated that if their autism were to be removed, the comorbids would go away too. It's unknown how closely any of these can be connected with autism, though depression and anxiety can logically be connected to life experiences. Simply put, there is no way to know if curing autism would also cure its comorbids.

What I can say is that virtually all of the comorbids associated with autism can be treated by other means. Anxiety, depression, and mental illness can be treated with therapy and medication. GI problems can usually be resolved with dietary considerations. While I am strongly against a cure for autism, I tend to favor these treatments for other issues.

It can be very difficult to find happiness by striving for an impossible goal. On the other hand, it can be very gratifying to accept yourself as you are. It's possible to live a happy life with autism. What do you like about being autistic?