The following is
a satirical work. All of the people are fictional. Any resemblance to
real people is purely coincidental.
Sammy Henderson may
seem at first glance like a typical six-year-old boy. He is very
active, playful, and talkative. He shows a lot of enthusiasm when
excited, such as by running where he's going or talking extremely
loudly about areas of interest.
But Sammy is one of
the 67 in 68 children who suffers from neurotypical disorder.
Neurotypical disorder impedes the sufferer's ability to function
separately from a social group, as well as limiting the logical
thought process.
According to Sammy's
parents, Peter and Caroline, Sammy has difficulties in establishing a
functional routine, adhering instead to his habits of procrastination
or refusal to accomplish required tasks.
Even something as
simple as washing hands after using the bathroom can be difficult.
Caroline tells me that Sammy often dishonestly claims to have washed
his hands, even though she did not hear the water running. “It's
difficult. I don't go in [the bathroom] with him anymore, so I can't
stand over him and make sure he does it. I'm not really sure what to
do.”
More complicated
tasks often present greater difficulties. “It's always a chore
getting him into bed,” says Caroline. “He knows he's tired, but
he refuses to acknowledge it.” Instead, she often finds him
creating battles between action figures depicting characters who have
never actually met in any official storyline. “I don't know why he
has the Hulk fighting Megatron,” explains Peter, “but he seems to
enjoy it.”
Although
unrealistic, Sammy's imagination appears to be quite complex. When I
met the Hendersons, Sammy spent much of the visit insisting that he
was a dragon, going so far as to explain when he was “breathing
fire” at us. This belief persisted, despite explanations that he is
not a dragon, and, in fact, dragons do not exist. These facts simply
did not appear to enter his awareness.
Sadly, these
behaviors are far too common among children who suffer from
neurotypical disorder. Many parents will also report that their
children will run into a street in front of cars, for no other
purpose than to chase a toy. This is obviously contrary to common
sense, which would tell us that personal safety should take
precedence over retrieval of a toy.
However, not all
believe neurotypical disorder to be something to be feared. Meet
Debbie Garrickson. Her daughter, Emylie, recently started her
sophomore year of high school. Like Sammy, Emylie also suffers form
neurotypical disorder.
Last year was a
particularly difficult time for Emylie's family. The Garricksons had
recently moved, and Emylie began her first year of high school, with
no friends sharing the same school.
“Emylie has always
been really attached to her friends,” says Debbie. “She kinda got
real depressed without anyone to hang out with.” Debbie explained
to me the effect this had on the family. “She didn't join in any
family activities. Sometimes she yelled at us for moving away from
her friends, but she mostly just holed up in her room.”
It wasn't long
before Emylie found new friends. Debbie encourages this coping
mechanism. “Sure, she still doesn't want to play on family game
night or anything, but at least she's getting out and doing stuff.”
In addition to
encouraging her daughter to spend so much time with her friends
instead of at home, Debbie offers a lot of freedom to Emylie. “Oh,
I don't know [what they're doing]. Hanging out at the mall, looking
at boys, whatever they do….Sure I worry, but what can you do? It's
not like I can follow them around everywhere they go. You gotta let
go some time.”
This approach to
raising children with neurotypical disorder appears to show a lot of
success. When they grow up, the symptoms of neurotypical disorder may
impede children like Sammy or Emylie in jobs, such as scientific
research or computer programming, that require logical thinking and
attention to fine details. However, the inherent social skills and
desire to succeed in a competitive situation may help in careers such
as sales and professional sports.
As of yet, there is
no known cure for neurotypical disorder. Many have suggested that the
measles, mumps, and rubella (MMR) vaccine may play a key role in
curing neurotypical disorder, but the vast majority of current
scientific research suggests that there is no link.
Others believe that
a high-gluten diet may reduce the risk of neurotypical disorder in
children. Gluten may kill off harmful gastrointestinal bacteria that
cause a high dependency on social interactions. There is little
evidence to support this theory, but it may be worth further
investigation.
Still others believe
that neurotypical disorder has always existed at its current rate.
The decline in prevalence may simply be due to our increasing ability
to discern it from other, healthy types of brains.
Many other theories
about the cause and declining prevalence of neurotypical disorder
exist. Obviously, further research is required. My hope is that we
can find the cause, so we can help children like Sammy and Emylie,
and perhaps prevent other children from suffering from this disorder
in the future.
