I'm often asked by
members of the autism community to talk about my life. While I don't
mind doing this, it can be somewhat embarrassing for me. I got to
thinking about this recently, and I not only thought of explanations
for it, but I realized that it probably isn't that uncommon for
people to feel uncomfortable sharing their life stories. I thought it
might be fun to explore that here.
The first
embarrassment that comes to mind is when people tell me that I
inspire them. I often feel that people see my story as one of
overcoming adversity, of not letting autism hold me back. I guess
some parts of my story are about overcoming adversity, but I've never
considered autism to be the adversity I've overcome. I just have
different experiences that others aren't used to hearing about.
So maybe people are
inspired by the amount of adversity I've faced in my life. After all,
I've dealt with bullying and some forms, often subtle, of
discrimination. Well, the truth is that there are some forms of
adversity that I've never dealt with. I've never felt the pressure to
do something stupid just to keep from not being cool. The threat of
being a social outcast was almost meaningless to me, since I already
spent most of my childhood there. It's true that I grew up in poverty
with a single mother, but the fact that my mom did so much to keep
that from holding me back makes that her story, not mine. The extent
to which autism has been an adversity to me was that I had to go out
of my way to learn social norms. Even that is offset by my ability to
absorb things like math and science.
Perhaps people are
just attracted to stories that are different from what they're used
to. When I look back on my life, it seems pretty mundane for the most
part. I suspect this is common. We live our own lives, so why should
your life seem interesting to you? My audience almost always
disagrees with me. They haven't lived my life. Ultimately, it matters
more what the listener finds interesting than the teller.
I also notice a
tendency to choose to share certain details that are relevant to the
audience's interests. When I talk to the autism community, I tend to
talk more about how being autistic has affected my life. I think most
people tend to do this. I don't think it's a conscious effort, most
of the time. However, it is more likely to captivate an audience.
That brings me to my
next point. People also tend to take interest in unusual similarities
to their own lives. There is a reason I, as an autistic person, am
often asked to speak to members of the autism community. People like
to know that they aren't alone in the world, that there are others
who share the same differences that they experience. Even without the
need for support, people like to compare notes and see how others
have dealt with similar experiences.
One of the reasons I
wanted to write about this was to encourage others to share their
life stories. I feel that it's a good way to promote the appreciation
of diversity in all of it's forms. It can be an eye opening
experience to find out how much you share in common with those who
are clearly different, or how different you are from someone you
would have considered one of your own. The more we learn about each
other, the easier it is to see each other as equals.
Telling your life
story is also a fun way to learn about yourself. We all have
interesting stories. You don't have to have traveled the world or
wrestled a crocodile. All you have to do is be honest about your
experiences. It still amazes me when I find people enthralled by
things that are just facts of life for me.
Even though people
like to hear from me, there's nothing special about me. I just know
things people want to learn about, I live in a time when people are
willing to hear my perspective, and I'm willing to get in front of
people and say it. We all have the first two qualities, whether you
know it or not. The third is up to you.
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